This post isn’t really about walking dogs, as much as it is about doing little things for a woman who you’re not in a relationship with. Walking dogs is just a metaphor for all those things we do for the ones we care about the most. Today, The Romantic in me and The Player in me face off about when, if ever, a man should draw the line on doing little things for a woman they’re not in a relationship with.

It’s really simple: Just because I’m not in a relationship with a woman doesn’t mean I can’t do things as though I am in a relationship with her. Isn’t that what we do every time we have sex? Of course it is. So if we can have sex even though we’re not in a formal relationship, what’s wrong with walking her dog? The only reason I would say no is because I wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea. I am not quite ready for a relationship, and she knows that. If I walk her dog for her while she works overtime, the gray area we exist can possibly get even more foggy. But, that’s not a really good reason to say no. Or rather, it’s not a better reason than the one I have for saying yes. This girl and I may not be together, but we are definitely involved with one another, and I shouldn’t need a title to be a nice guy to her. Saying no to walking the dog would only be to save face, and my face is just fine. For this girl who I am not in a relationship with, I am going to walk her dog because I like her, and more importantly she likes me, which means she would do the same thing.

She wants me to do what? Walk the dog? My response to that is…hmmm…what’s the words I’m looking for? Oh yeah, that’s it, HELL NO! This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. We have a good thing going on, it’s a little thing called just sex. We have just sex and we’re happy. Doing anything more than that is a slippery slope. One minute I’m walking her dog, the next minute, I’m like Owen Wilson‘s character in Marley and Me, writing a column about the joys of raising a dog with my lovely wife. No thanks. All this talk of how if she can sleep with me, I can walk her dog is bull. You know what she gets for sleeping with me? My A game. If that’s not enough, and I need to start walking dogs to show my appreciation, than either I need to do a better job in the bedroom or she needs to fire me. And about that nice guy logic? I am a nice guy, I’m just not a nice guy who walks dogs. But I’m sure there are plenty of those types out there. She should find one if she doesn’t have one already.

If I start doing all these little things like walking the dog or fixing something that’s broke around her crib, she’s going to think I want to do more than what we’re already doing when the truth is I don’t. Our relationship is based on two things: Enjoying each other’s company and not doing any favors to do so. Do I like the girl? Yeah, I do, but not to this extent, so I am going to tell her no, and explain to her the reason. Because contrary to popular belief, a real player tells a woman the truth, even if it hurts; as a matter of fact, especially if it hurts.